Definitely Older

Saturday morning, flicking through the newspaper and noticing yesterday’s telly page I say “Drat!” HOH enquires what the problem is. “I missed Gardners’ World.” There’s a brief moment when we look at each other and then I realise that I am officially an old biddy. (We don’t have a garden but I love Gardener’s World. We have a couple of small balconies which HOH tends to but we are unlikely to be harvesting corn on the cob anytime soon).

I have also sent for a knitting kit, which I confirm is absolutely NOT the most cost-effective way to do any kind of craft. No laughing at the back all you craft types. Big needles, straight lines – that’s the kind of knitting I like. It will be a cardi one day – you mark my words. Unfortunately, I am unable to give you any kind of clue as to when that day will be but the finest knitting minds in this apartment are working on it. Aged Parent used to knit a lot when she was younger. She was very good but she wouldn’t teach me – she said she didn’t have the patience. However, she did make me the most amazing cable cricket sweater so swings and roundabouts eh? She gave it up in the end because she said it was making her nerves bad – all the counting and the concentrating. I suspect that will not be a problem with me.

She is doing ok by the way. This week she has been to a picnic, a cream tea in the dining room, watched a film about spies that sounded quite confusing, and attended 4 afternoon’s worth of Bingo. So, last week I spent every night in, watching telly and knitting while she is giving the Bouvier sisters a run for their money. In answer to your next question – no it isn’t cheering her up particularly. I suppose the potency of such a glittering social life pales for the best of us in the end.

Is anyone noticing a slight autumnal tinge out there now? There does seem to be a little edge to the air and HOH’s habit of leaving the doors to the balcony open (fresh air/sunset views/annoying me – pick your reason) is beginning to attract wildlife. One evening this week we were joined by a moth that was so large, it could easily have been accompanied by the theme from The Dambusters. I did my usual thing of running into the bathroom and closing the door. (Please do not comment and say they are more scared of me than I am of them. Firstly, you cannot possibly know that, and secondly, I am not sure that would be physically possible). HOH goes looking for the moth and can’t find it anywhere. This is troubling news and I announce that I am like Gene Pitney and I can never, ever come home again or, at least until this is found. Anyway, it turns up two days later when HOH is on a late shift – flying out from behind a rice jar. Do not tell me it didn’t know that the most insect-useless person in the house was home alone. That was a long night.

I think the change of the seasons is bringing the continuing pandemic into focus. I have really enjoyed lots of the online offerings and particularly want to draw your attention to Tony Collins on Kindred of the Quiet Way this morning but I would like to go to church now. I would like to sit in the same room as like-minded people and drink rubbish coffee and have myself steeled against the week to come.

COVID-19 has put a foot on the brakes and that is not an entirely bad thing. Leaving aside the death and destruction, there have been things to learn, things to enjoy, and time to look at a different perspective. But, there is a sense that time is passing and opportunities are being missed. I saw a brief thing by Paul Scanlon saying that the cavalry isn’t coming – start what you can now, begin what you think you may be being called to do, and expect God to do what is needed. Outside of my paid work, I sometimes feel I have been a bit lazy in lockdown but time is passing, the days are shorter and opportunities are more precious and I am older. I am definitely older.



  1. August 24, 2020 / 7:54 am

    The whole situation feels utterly surreal to me. Not the pandemic only, but the climate change, the flagrant political corruption, and other factors particular to my own family (one huge chunk of the tribe lost to divorce, after which I ceased to exist for them, the other sector lost to mental illness destroying relationships), it is as though the world as I knew it, with everything I thought would abide, has simply dissolved. And yes, I feel also the dissolution of ageing, and I will be grateful when life is done; the problems are too big to solve and the clouds hanging over the future look sombre. But, “Courage, brothers, do not stumble;” for now we have to keep on putting one foot in front of the other, and doing what we can to make life beautiful. x

    • lesleyps91
      August 24, 2020 / 9:25 pm

      It is overwhelming. Without being trite, our doing what we can is vital. I will also pray. (if nothing else, the current circumstances of life are making me up my prayer game.)

  2. August 24, 2020 / 10:55 am

    Definitely Autumnal here too, leaves and apples dropping, flowers quietly fading away.
    When we lived in the south of France we had flying beetles that were the size of saucers. They droned across the patio, sending entire family screaming indoors, and then perched on the lime tree, gazing malevolently downwards. I never discovered what they were, but we were all terrified!

    • lesleyps91
      August 24, 2020 / 9:05 pm

      A saucer! Seriously? Arrrgh

  3. August 24, 2020 / 11:48 pm

    Two weeks ago there was a spider in the bath. It had a chunky body and big legs. It was the same size as Rosie’s little ducks. Even Bob was anxious. I know people keep saying nature is flourishing under lockdown I just wish it would keep its flourishing to outside the home!

    • lesleyps91
      August 25, 2020 / 8:06 pm

      Yes – when the other half is jumpy – that is always a bad sign

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