Living and Learning

Captain’s Log – Stardate…Well, I really don’t have the faintest idea. Heaven knows how Captain Kirk et all kept track of everything while they were stuck on one spaceship indefinitely and zig-zagging in and out of time zones. I am losing track of time and life actually.

Speaking of Zigging and Zagging, it’s all getting a bit fraught out there now that it’s a bit busier. I have noticed that people of a certain age – i.e. me (also HOH) naturally step into the road to let people go past. If the people we are moving for are also of a certain age then usually they will say thank you and sometimes we exchange lockdown pleasantries. However, I have to be honest, a lot of the younger sort don’t even seem to notice that you have moved and, if they are running, you can forget it. (Good grief! I am turning into my Nana whose hobby was hating everything and everyone. She had an upbringing that resembled a Dickins novel. We gave her a lot of slack).

Anyway, behold some of the things that have been giving me jip this week…

I have been really busy sorting out stuff for the charity I work for this week. I saw a webinar about charity giving saying that it was down across the board. Obviously, lots of people have less disposable income but actually quite a few people have more because they are not going out and spending it. Unfortunately giving is down because people are so uncertain about the future. People are giving to NHS charities (although my thoughts about this are well documented elsewhere on this blog) and to national charities. A lot of those will be alright as well because the government is giving directly to them. (A charity person said to me this week that Covid 19 was the best thing that had happened to a certain big charity – they were struggling before and financially this was going to be a huge boost). If charity giving is part of your thinking, please consider giving locally to smaller schemes. A lot of them will fall through the cracks.

I also heard a sermon this week that annoyed me because it was true. The preacher questioned our relationship with money and asked what we could be doing for the poor that we are not doing. Could we help more than we do? Well, I certainly could.

I have apparently been quite controversial this week by posting this on Facebook. A few people got in touch because it appeared quite negative. It wasn’t meant to be particularly negative. Realistic maybe but not negative. Once I was in a situation where I believe God told me that the people/person I was talking to did not have my best interests at heart. (Actually, there was no “I believe” about it – he deffo did tell me). This was not a woo-woo voice in the sky. (Apologies if you are often in receipt of those – I am not). I saw a message – not written on a wall by a ghostly hand or anything. It was an email that I got to see by mistake. I wasn’t mad at the person who sent it (well I was a bit mad). However, I was more grateful that God hadn’t let me carry on making a fool of myself thinking that this person was being genuine with me.

I think I just posted it because I was thinking that Christianity is full of adulting. It requires doing things right like looking after the poor and the needy. It requires being open and loving to people and not just pretending to. I am guilty of having failed at all of the above with big, brass shiny knobs on but I’m not just supposed to leave it there. It’s not like learning to crochet or do a handstand – neither of which I will ever master so I have walked away with a dismissive wave of my hand. I am under no obligation to give them another go. Other people can do it much better than I can. This faith I profess does not give me that option. I am underpinned by love. and that makes it a bit weird really because I am secure as I am, yet despite or maybe because of that God-given security, I am still obliged to keep trying to do better.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

Jeremiah 31



  1. May 18, 2020 / 6:25 am

    “Unfailing Kindness” will be my mantra for this week. I heard a brilliant sermon *on it yesterday too, and now it is here too. Two church members are organising collections for a couple of local food banks. So I decided to put a leaflet through every door in the street (not an original thought – someone else in church posted they would ask their neighbours) I was overwhelmed to find the crate in the porch was overflowing with stuff by Friday afternoon. I AM concerned for the small charities. Not criticising Christian Aid etc. We will still send off our annual gift. But the large ones have more resources to maintain the work thru this time. . Little ones operate on such tight budgets that any tightening of the purse strings really impacts them. The government should be properly funding the NHS,. Captain/Colonel Tom is wonderful. But if that money was divided among smaller groups it would bless so many. I’m encouraged by Claire Coopers #NHSgofundit poster. If the govt did that, then I can work on smaller acts of unfailing kindness. *sermon on a Conference Call service from Norfolk. Really low tech, and you can hear someone’s budgie tweeting, and another’s little dog barking… But we are connected and we worshipped together. And we’re not trouble by Zoom failures.

    • lesleyps91
      May 21, 2020 / 9:57 am

      It is lovely, how people want to help given half a chance

  2. sue
    May 18, 2020 / 6:52 pm

    Captain Tom was wonderful and the people who donated it did it out of the best impulses. However, with a lifetime’s experience of working in the NHS I am so sceptical about where all that money will go. Will it be wasted on pointless projects or simply absorbed into the total NHS budget?

    • lesleyps91
      May 21, 2020 / 9:55 am

      I don’t see quite how it can go to “The NHS”. I’m not really sure what an NHS Charity is

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