Gentler

Hello. Hope you are well. Weird isn’t it? Am I the only person who wakes up in the morning and it takes a few seconds before you remember what is happening? Anyway, apparently this is the new normal – at least until the next new normal turns up so we carry on.

This is our park – well I say “our” – obviously, it doesn’t belong to us – heaven forbid. It will need its own UN Peacekeeping force soon. This afternoon three young people came and sat down in the middle of the park – after laying a tartan blanket on the ground. They then opened up their Tupperware boxes and proceeded to enjoy lunch. (I didn’t take a photo in case they think I am working undercover for the Rozzers) It’s all very tense then as we are expecting dog walkers to come in and tell them to clear off. Fortunately, they manage to finish their picnic without incurring the wrath of Plymouth’s Covid 19 STAY AT HOME squad. It is difficult, isn’t it? Of course, they shouldn’t be out but, three young people who look as if they are in the same family (along with a small pug) who just had half an hour’s peace under the trees; I do understand.

Meanwhile, Aged Parent is doing quite well. She spends most afternoons socially distanced in the garden at the care home and now her telly is working she is happy watching Loose Women and lots of news. I have never seen Loose Women. That is not any kind of judgement, it’s just, who has the time? Because AP is now abreast of the news, she is feeling the itch to get going. Last week she informed me that her friend in Number 40 (15 years younger and no underlying health issues as far as we can make out) goes and sits in the entrance to the complex and talks to her friend through the glass door. This translates into “Why aren’t you pulling up a couple of dining chairs to the glass front doors for me?” I explain that the management of the home are not very happy with this arrangement and would rather people didn’t. At the moment, they have the place locked down and watertight with us only delivering extra food and drugs a couple of times a week and that’s the way they would like it to stay. Even while I am explaining this to her I am completely aware that she is raising a cynical eyebrow of disbelief. Also, HOH who has been a dream helping me with her, considering that what he does for a day job involves full PPE, a visor and arguing about where the last protective gloves are, has put his foot down and said that he is not driving across Plymouth to stand outside a door while “your mother complains through it about everything and everybody and insists the whole thing is overblown.” He has a point.

FOW 1 and his inamorata have rearranged their wedding for the beginning of August. It will be a much smaller affair but hopefully, it can all go ahead. I have tentatively suggested that, in years to come, they will look back on this and say “WE got married in the lock-down” and we will all look at the photos and smile fondly. A bit like in the war when people got married in gas masks. (The difference being that, as far as I know, in the war, there wasn’t the same problems actually obtaining the masks). At the moment, people are not taking me up on my cheerful take on it but they may well come round. (Or not). We watched a very nice Christian wedding online yesterday. I didn’t know the couple very well but it was genuinely lovely. All the guests were on Zoom and it was all very jolly. Of course, Christian young couples are more reluctant to cancel their weddings (I will leave you to work out why. HOH has banned me from spelling it out).

It was FOW2’s birthday last week. It’s not the same when you can’t see them face to face but Social Media is a genuine Godsend (there’s a sentence I thought I would never write) and you can sort of see people. We are watching sermons on Sunday mornings which is good. I know myself and I am better about life when I have heard a good preach. I have to be careful not to take up residence on the phone – there’s so much to see and read and if I read it all, I would get brain freeze.

I am beginning to be a bit gentler on myself and other people. I ranted a bit online to a blog friend the other day who gently agreed with every word I said and then typed out everything she thanked God for in my life and there was a lot. I’m still very unhappy about how some things have been handled and I certainly do feel that if some of the people who say that journalists are “missing the mood of the country” were a bit nearer the pointy end of things, they may feel a bit differently. I have no problem with journalists asking difficult questions. It’s their job and I suspect that in times to come, people will say that this country handled the outbreak badly. Sometimes the “we’re all in it together” is unhelpful. This week a lady who didn’t clap the NHS on Thursday was named and shamed on Facebook. (She was busy trying to get her baby to sleep – although why she should have to give a reason is beyond me). We need to be gentler I think and be thoughtful contributors to what must be a national debate.

I am finding it helpful to timetable my days as well. Although because, in reality, I am still working even though it’s from home, it is good to write down what you would like to do each day. I have started leaving off my list “lose a stone, learn French, clean the house with Bicarb and develop a six-pack.” This has also helped with my relaxation and acceptance of – well life really. I am feeling more able to deal with it all as I have reduced my expectations of myself. Although I have to be totally honest, I still would like to drop that stone.

Share:

4 Comments

  1. April 27, 2020 / 6:59 am

    I too would like to lose a stone. But I am so enjoying having the time to develop my breadmaking skills. And then eating the finished product. Kind friends sent me bars of chocolate for my birthday. I have been rationing them. But they have still been consumed. Visiting the elderly esp ones in Homes is a problem, esp when they don’t understand. Not helped by the Daily Mail, photoshopping pictures of James Cracknell and his dad. I do hope your son’s rearranged wedding date works out. I feel so sad for these young people. I’m struggling with “I want it all to be over soon” and “No, don’t rush back to ‘normality’ too quickly, in case we have another huge wave of sickness and death”. And struggling with lack of confidence in those at the top who are making decisions. And infuriated with people quoting Bible verses at me involving 19and 40 and telling me God will protect all his people from the pestilence. This has never been good theology. Praying for your OH in his PPE. (and for the rest of your clan, obvs)

    • lesleyps91
      Author
      April 28, 2020 / 8:38 pm

      I know – there are bits about this I hate but the drop of pace has been a real blessing. I wonder if the wedding will work out actually. The bride to be confessed to FOW1 that she had always preferred the idea of low key anyway.

  2. Kirsten
    April 27, 2020 / 9:45 am

    Good to read your thoughts! And be saying ‘Amen, Sister’! Although I’ve never been to a church where the congregation call out encouragement to the Preacher – maybe that’s one for the future.

    They’re doing their best to keep my father’s sheltered accommodation locked down tight. I rang him the other day and he was planning to go to the ATM at the COOP to get some cash. I have every confidence that he wouldn’t have bothered with gloves and wouldn’t have washed his hands. They can lock us out but haven’t managed to lock him in!

    I hadn’t realised HOH was a PPE wearer. I’ll add him to my prayers. There’s an unfortunate couple in our road who have been heckled for not doing the ‘clap’ for the NHS and now hide every Thursday. I feel for them. People have Reasons and we shouldn’t Interfere when it’s not life or death. (Ps my mother used to work as a nurse in the ‘Special’ clinic. ‘Clap for the NHS’ means something quite different to me. )

    • lesleyps91
      Author
      April 28, 2020 / 8:33 pm

      Thank you for the HOH prayers. Much appreciated at the moment! Both been sniggering at the “Clap at the NHS” all day!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *