Rumours of a Carry-On

Hello all and welcome from the Bubble Wrap Queen of Plymouth. Please don’t write in and tell me how unsustainable bubble wrap is as I am borderline unsustainable myself at the moment and that might tip me over the edge. We have more glasses than the Rovers Return apparently, despite giving at least 50% of our stash away.

It can be quite soothing actually, wrapping things up. Last night, I managed nearly every candlestick we had in the house while watching “Captain America – Winter Soldier” which is one of my favourite Marvels and Robert Redford is a very convincing psychopath I think. (Sorry – must learn to put the word “Spoiler” BEFORE I give the plot away.

I’ve also been using the Libby App which lets you download books from your library to your phone – for free. I mentioned it before I think. I’ve been listening to “The Silence of the Girls” by Pat Barker which is a re-telling of the Illiad with women’s thoughts and voices rather than just Achilles, Agamemnon, Odysseus and all. I am slightly obsessed with the story and I think I only have a week left before they take the book back so I am more or less living day to day with my earphones in, which people seem to find irritating for some reason.

Why you would be here reading about a woman who, at the moment, is leaving the house with about the same frequency as Miss Haversham, I don’t know but I am glad you are here. I go to work, obviously and to Aged Parent’s to make sure she isn’t running amok but that’s about it at the moment. By the way, if anyone facies looking after a little Jack Russell as pictured above – just feel free to give me a call. It’s only for a day while we move and he very rarely bites these days.

We are struggling to get AP to eat sensibly as well. Left to her own devices, she would live on porridge, custard creams and M and S Pineapple Tarts. I took some frozen haddock to her flat last week. I thought – cook from frozen, in some foil in a bit of butter. It will be really nice with a couple of slices of brown bread (and possibly a Guinness). When I went back this week, the fish was in the freezer – untouched.

“I thought you were going to have that fish.”

“Well, I was but it said “Keep Frozen” so I left it.”

“You are only supposed to keep it frozen until you eat it!”

HOH says that she knew exactly what that meant but didn’t fancy the fish. He’s probably right. We have stuffed her freezer with ready meals. Hopefully, she will find something in there that will tickle her fancy. She is also quite exercised by the fact that their communal coffee room has been vandalised. Apparently, there was coffee scattered all over the floor and the kettle lead had been damaged. AP said that the warden is liaising with the police about the damage. HOH and I feel this is unlikely as there is not enough of them to liaise with people who have been stabbed at the moment.

On top of this, AP is convinced that there has been an orgy in the Communal Coffee Room. We have no idea why she should think that. Something to do with one of the men being spotted in the evening going downstairs towards the Coffee Room in his dressing gown with a bottle of gin. This was a double sighting as AP was not the only witness and Pop Sock Lady also saw him. We sat, stunned into silence, at this supposedly erotic turn of events, unlikely as it was. HOH broke the silence by asking no-one in particular

“I wonder if that’s how the kettle got damaged?”

Have a great week.

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4 Comments

  1. August 19, 2019 / 8:27 am

    Wiltshire foods is the life saviour for my AG (Aged Godmother) – she enjoys browsing the catalogue, and then telephoning the amazingly helpful and friendly and very patient staff. A few days later someone delivers it all into her freezer, even rotating the older food to the front of the drawer. She is careful to choose food that can be done in the microwave as she doesn’t trust the gas oven they gave her when she switched from calor gas to ordinary gas.

    My godmother can still organise her life pretty well; I guess some of the clients might end up with an over-flowing freezer full of haddock?

    I don’t think anyone in the sheltered accommodation where my AF (Aged Father) lives would be capable of an orgy, except, maybe, the AF himself. But he’s far too busy going off to play bridge, or going on a SAGA cruise (third this year coming up soon…) to be bothered with all that kind of mularkey. I think.

    Your tales of moving house fill me with apprehension for when that time comes for us; I have a feeling we are going to just fossilize here where we are, with 35 years worth of junk in the loft.

    • lesleyps91
      Author
      August 20, 2019 / 9:07 pm

      I agree with your AF. Too much trouble, all that carry on. Besides, my suspicion is that the gentleman in question was meeting up with a couple of friends in the coffee room for a late-night drink and a game of cards. The dressing gown was probably for comfort rather than any jig-a-jig.

  2. August 19, 2019 / 9:06 pm

    Quite understandable…if it says Keep frozen, then thats what you do.
    Call the producers and ask them to put a helpful label on saying ‘You can unfreeze and eat’. A bit like Alice in Wonderland?

    • lesleyps91
      Author
      August 20, 2019 / 9:08 pm

      I do not want to encourage her!

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