Oh dear. I wish this was one of those blogs where I could entertain you with tales of popping off to Monaco for the weekend or spending the week on a juice fast to cleanse both body and soul and lose half a stone. Unfortunately though, I have been at work all week and the only place we had time to pop to was a new “The Range”. However, on popping in, I remembered how much I hate The Range – there is nothing there that you can’t get anywhere else – and usually cheaper – and so we popped straight back out again.

The only dietary advice I can share is from the very personable young girl on the Aldi checkout. On examining my purchase of chicken sausages she told me that she had recently done a month long sausage and boiled egg only diet. She had gone down a dress size so it had certainly worked but when she had had to come off the diet, partly because of difficulties in the toilet department, she had gone straight back to her previous size and she didn’t know what to do now. I felt I was letting her down because I couldn’t think of anything to help her and I was also trying to get Aged Parent away from the till before my fish fingers defrosted. Any talk of toilet department is seen by AP as an invitation to share at length about her own issues in that area and we would have never left.

I apologise for the lack of inspirational content.

I had been reading a Bible Study this week. I don’t know about anyone else but I do struggle with doing a study properly i.e. read a bit of Bible and then see what study has to say about it. I do have a tendency to read ahead if it is interesting. Anyway Beth Moore said this

The words “Well Done” are on the tip of Jesus’ tongue. I think he can hardly wait to say them. He’s not manipulative. He’s not moody. He tells us what he wants and he tells us how he’ll respond. He never departs from his word.

And it made me jump, I think because I had not really been thinking this way about God and me for a while. I think sometimes we can lose sight of truth because

a) That has not been our experience – either for a while or maybe never

b) We get used to reading things again and again and they do not feel as powerful.

I remember many years ago reading “The Father Heart of God” by Floyd McClung. The book details God’s thoughts towards us as affectionate, positive and warm. The argument being that this is a natural by-product of the grace we live under.

I read the book and found it, not difficult but unbelievable. Having had little experience of positive fatherhood which I was not going to see until I watched HOH with our children and also attending a church where people were made very aware of their need of grace – but less so of God’s goodness and our position as people receiving grace. I felt that I needed to concentrate very heavily on the “undeserving” part of grace sometimes to the detriment of the loved and secure bit.

So when I read about the God who searches me out (The Parable of the Lost Coin) or the God who promised to never leave, it took a bit of getting hold of I can tell you. But, the more I accepted this. the better it felt. I lost a lot of hang ups and felt more and more secure and, sometimes, almost felt that I had got it.

Yet time passes and things happen. Some of these things are big things and some of them not so much. Prayers don’t always seem to be answered and I am not always the person that I thought I would be by this time in my life. And I lose sight of the truth. I lose sight of the unchanging nature of God and his thoughts towards me. It was startling to read this and how God feels about me, which is a shame I think because I am obviously missing out on peace and security that I am meant to have.

So, although I don’t really do Lent I thought this year I might have a go at a sort of reverse one where it is all about me. (I know, I know – almost diametrically opposed to the spirit of Lent but there you are) I am going to seek out old Bible verses and books that have helped me when I was young in the olden days. I am going to look at things that preachers have said in the past – even those who now are full of facelifts and working through problems of their own in many cases or even actually dead and I am going to see what comes out of that. If some things are truthful and don’t change then they are worth revisiting again no? Feel free to be as self-centred about Lent as I am going to be. I am hoping that unselfish, Lent-like actions will come out of this but if not, I still think it is worth it.

Have a good week



  1. March 4, 2019 / 9:00 am

    Did you ever read “David” by John Hercus? I found it really helpful in my teens. JH was an Australian Doctor and he wrote it in the sixties. It’s a sort of Bible commentary. Wonderfully honest. I think you’d like his approach. I could lend you my copy if you can’t find a copy. Email me!

    • lesleyps91
      March 4, 2019 / 8:41 pm

      Oooh. Have just found for £1 on Amazon and snapped up. Thank you. Great reviews as well. Excited!!

  2. March 4, 2019 / 12:50 pm

    Oddly enough, after experiencing an unexpected meltdown minutes before yesterday’s church service such that I abandoned everything and drove home again, I have decided that a suitable Lent thing would be to pray for myself ever day. Or try to – one of my major talents is forgetting things I should remember. (Another ‘talent’ is remembering thing that were best forgotten; go figure as my Canadian friends say). I say ‘oddly enough’ because you seem to be thinking something similar.
    I was the organist yesterday, luckily I share it with another lady who stepped into the space. Such grace.

    • lesleyps91
      March 4, 2019 / 8:45 pm

      Well isn’t that interesting? I am quite comfortable with praying for me at the moment. Lovely how God is ok with our meltdowns and provides lovely people to cover for it

  3. Sue P
    March 4, 2019 / 6:00 pm

    Oh Lesley-you made me laugh so much that my husband asked what was the matter and I had to read it out to him!
    I also struggle with Daily Bible studies-sometimes I get them and sometimes they repel-different authors I suppose.
    I hope your Lent goes well and that you feel nourished by it.

    • lesleyps91
      March 4, 2019 / 8:47 pm

      Believe it or not it is all true (Sort of) Thanks so much for the encouragement

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