We made it through Halloween (or at least the thing it has become where children pretend they are Hollywood offspring and dress up as characters from Marvel comics and sing the Spiderman theme through your letterbox). Bonfire Night has also passed with little reference to the historical detail and a lot of frankly quite depressing Brexit themed jokes. I live in the home of the British Firework Championships so we overdo it a bit here. Although, if I were twenty years younger, I might think it quite romantic to take a boat out into the harbour in the evening to watch the fireworks. I am, however, as old as the hills and hate the water so we stayed at home with a Jack Russell with fear induced flatulance.
We have made our way uncertainly through these events only to find the John Lewis Christmas Advert lying in wait for us so I think we can safely assume that Christmas is on its way. This is the Diptyque Advent Calendar above by the way. It’s £320. For that amount of money, I would expect a personalised Wise Man complete with all the relevant gifts.
My earlier announcement that I would not be “doing” the usual Christmas this year has been supported by the releasing of Christmas Rotas. Head of House will be ministering the the sick for a good proportion of the day. FOW1 will be spending lots of it supporting his inamorata who will be working in the local pub/restaurant- trying to keep slightly drunk former sailors this side of completely legless. This leaves me, FOW2 (only for one day as her work beckons as well) and you know who. Aged Parent is still at the stage where she is pretending that she is happy as Larry with a reduced Christmas. I am considering softening the blow by offering Christmas Morning Church. I haven’t done one of those since we stopped working there but it could be a bit lovely in C of E. Time will tell.
With our usual impeccable timing, we are also dealing with house viewings. It has only been seven days and it is giving me bad nerves. I am not exactly Miss Congeniality at the best of times but, we had our first viewers on Saturday and it fell to me to show them round – all the while trying to keep Morecambe quiet. Our dog likes to show his interest in new people by barking wildly and throwing himself at them. This can make things quite difficult when you are trying to be positive about the lack of central heating upstairs. (We never wanted it. Don’t like it in the bedroom) Eventually, a nine year old girl turned up from the Estate Agents to do the proper viewing. Unfortunately, she neglected to mention that we had a living room or a basement so I had to recall them from the front door. It’s all going very well. Are we supposed to be looking for a place to move on to now? It seems a bit bad mannered when you haven’t sold your own house.
Can I be honest? (Cue lots of readers rolling their eyes and thinking – “Well if you must”) I don’t think I am doing very well in the Christianity department. I think it is everything that is going on – and there is lots going on – and work is flippin’ crazy. I know when I am overwhelmed, because I become quite peevish. Even more so than usual. I was watching a perfectly normal advert for a “Worship Service” and everyone in it was getting on my nerves. Anyway – what does “Leaning In to Worship” mean? See – I am getting you involved in my whinging now.
The irony is, of course, that the less I do spiritually, the less I am able to deal with what life throws at me, making me therefore less willing to do anything spiritually – making me even less able to deal with life. It is a veritable circle of life and not in a good way and with no cute cartoon lions to lighten the load. However, the HUGE positive of all this is the vastly underestimated Grace. Is it bad, that it never occurs to me that when I eventually make my way back to God, that he would reject me? Mainly because he says he won’t and because my life experience has taught me that this is so. This isn’t ingratitude – it’s how it is. It doesn’t make me any less grateful. It can be easy to miss grace. At least I find it easy. I just sometimes wish that I could get more of a hold of this gracious God and his involvement in me and the life I live. I expect that it would make life less troubling and therefore less wearing.