…to be a woman, as Tammy Wynette very nearly sang. (I know it was “Sometimes it’s hard.. but if I had put that as a title, we would be attracting all sorts of unsavouries to the blog and we don’t want that do we?) Anyway this is me and HOH being a bit chilled because we are on our Jolly Holidays. Still. Ain’t life grand?
I thought I might write a bit about being a woman, because I am one and I suppose you should always write what you know. For those of you concerned with the progress of our resident woman (Well not here in my house – are you crazy? We would kill each other) – I mean Aged Parent. The plaster is off her arm and she is refusing to do the excercises because they hurt. However, she is busy with the love life of her friend at the moment because she has split up with the man who shouts on Aldi Car Park but AP is concerned because she thinks her friend is back on the “Snack and Chat”. I have patiently explained that it isn’t called that – at least I don’t think it is but AP thinks that is hardly the point and these chatlines are doing her no good. However, her friend has explained that she is not the sort of woman that can be alone and would have the original one back, even though he threw the telephone at her. These people are in their eighties. Shouldn’t they be watching The Waltons or something? Anyway moving on.
Woman One. The Home Secretary from “The Bodyguard”. (Is it THE Bodyguard? or Bodyguard? Could look up. Can’t be bothered.) I knew I wouldn’t like this but – in the interests of bringing you the very best in TV criticism that a free blog written by a woman who doesn’t watch that much telly can bring, I sent HOH out there first to let me know what it was like. He informs me that it is a lot of powerful women pursing their lips a lot, a bodyguard who has so many issues and scars from “The War” that he needs a wheelbarrow to carry them around (are there no vetting procedures for this kind of thing?) and that people had their heads blown up as I expected. Also, there was jig-a-jig in Episode 2 – which was a lot earlier than I expected. This goes to prove that, no matter how intelligent and powerful a woman is, underneath it all, she is lonely and lost and needs a man with mental health issues to drag her into the bedroom and sort it all out. No wonder these people never get to the bottom of the red boxes.
Woman Two – The Prime Minister. I have no particular affection for Theresa May. If you delve into the murky depths of the Windrush affair and the “Hostile Environment” for immigrants that she was instrumental in creating, you wonder how she is still in a job. If she had been a Premier League Manager, she would be long gone with that failure record. However, I have had to admit to jumping to her defence this week about the dancing. She went out and danced with some African children this week only to be met with universal derision. Her response to this was to go out and do it again – only more so!! Hurrah! People had decided to bully her and she answered in the best way possible – with a highly unusual interpretive dance. Good for her. People had put a show on for her and she decided to show them how appreciative she was. (I suppose it is a possibility that the nations in question have told her that they won’t sign up for trade deals unless she danced – a bit like Clint Eastwood, when he used to fire bullets at people’s feet but I think this is a scurrilous rumour). It’s very difficult to stand stock still as people are performing a dance for you and still look appreciative. The Queen has managed it but only after years of practice. She is actually top notch at this because she has mastered the art of looking riveted whilst moving almost imperceptibly sideways and on to the next thing.
Woman Three. Ariana Grande. This week saw Aretha Franklin’s rather awesome funeral. (Please keep your voices down. HOH can’t believe she has gone and he keeps getting upset). Apparently she changed clothes for her open casket viewing around six times, which is marginally less than Diana Ross did when we went to see her live. Anyway, Ariana, who is a particular favourite of the young people, sang a song at the funeral and did very well. Afterwards, perhaps unexpectedly, she found herself struggling with the attentions of Bishop Charles H Ellis (The Third). You can have a look here. He has apologised but you have to ask yourself how he thought he would get away with that – unless it is something he does all the time. You know, I think sometimes that the #meetoo movement can be a bit of a pain in the bum but sometimes, the level of entitlement that some men must feel to behave like that is truly shocking. It is especially so when he stands at a pulpit and does it. We are hearing more and more stories very week about men of God and the way they have behaved. This is annoying for lots of reasons – it shames the Church, God’s Message and also, genuine, honest pastors and servants of God are having to suffer being tarred with this brush. Much of what we hearabout what has gone on behind closed doors is very disturbing and is a challenge to all of us. But some of it is happening in plain sight. Eternity, Forgiveness, Grace – these are important matters. Some men placed in positions of trust and responsibility would do well to remember that and move your flippin hand!