Mother and Child

Hello. To the flicks this weekend for one of the best films I have seen in a while. I felt under a bit of pressure going to see this because my daughter had been to see it and had rated it one of the best films she had ever seen, and because the central theme is the relationship between a mother and her daughter, if I didn’t like it, I think it made me a bad mother. Anyway, fortunately, I loved it. It’s a coming of age movie about a seventeen year old girl who is full of insecurities, most of which she takes out on her mother. Well, that was my take on it. My daughter’s view may be different. It was so lovely to see a well written, tender comedy about humans and their relationships. It was also nice to see nuns who were not abusive, raving lunatics. I don’t actually know any nuns but surely not all of them can be like they are in the films.  Not everyone in it is a nice person but nearly everyone got a chance to explain themselves a little and we got see why people are the way they are sometimes. It seems that a good proportion of the world just want to be understood. I also think, whether we realise it it not, that most of us want mercy. We may not call it that but, after we have been understood, we want to be forgiven and have another chance. People complicate the message of Grace sometimes but I think that’s all it is really. It is one of the great discoveries of anyone’s life when they come into contact with God and realise that there is no condemnation.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day in the UK. I’m not a huge lover of Mother’s Day to be honest. (Although, I am more than happy to take all the good wishes, open the presents and eat the chocolates). Like most people, we are all a bit uneasy about Mother’s Day. We all know people who have lost mums or can’t be a mum or whose children are making them wonder if they want to be mums. It isn’t an easy day for many people. I have spoken quite a few times at Mother’s Day events in churches. (That’s the one day when the vicar won’t get too much flack for putting a female lady-person in the pulpit) It is difficult and I think the church has made things worse. We have bought into this idea of romantic love being the best kind of love and we have put nuclear families front row and centre as the most desirable type of life. This means that those who are single (for whatever reason), those who do not have children and those who have problematic relationships with their families are often made to feel second best as they are not living like something out of Little House on the Prairie. However, most of us know people who are living fantastic lives outside of this “most desirable” option. There’s the missionary who looks a after a family of fifty children in straitened circumstances, the widow who runs a network for older lonely people, the social worker who lives and breathes fighting for a better deal for the disadvantaged and the caretaker who has never married but has found huge fulfilment in a job that he loves. The list is endless. Being a mother is the greatest thing I ever did. Really – it is way beyond any capabilities that I have and I am grateful to have got this far without accidentally damaging them for life but I am not so impressed with myself that I don’t realise that it is not the best love. It’s one kind of love. There are others – equally important. Equally valuable.

Aged Parent has been quite upset about Billy Graham’s death. She was particularly upset about not being able to find his funeral on the telly. She was also not impressed when she asked me what he had died of and I replied “Being 99”. So why, I asked was she so keen?

Well I know he was just a man and he made lots of mistakes but when it came to preaching the gospel… (makes gun firing gestures with her fingers) …he was just KERPOW!



1 Comment

  1. Frugally Challenged
    March 12, 2018 / 3:28 pm

    I don’t like the name Mother’s Day and prefer the older term, Mothering Sunday. I’ve been hurt when attending church on that day and identify with others who are hurt. I salute all those who are mums but am uncomfortable with the unrealistic views of family life all too often portrayed.

    Even more I want to celebrate the sort of loving kindness which you describe. I want to celebrate anyone (female or male) who puts their own comfort after the need to care for others, especially the unlovely.

    I was moved by the story on Tracing Rainbows where Angela had made cards with children she was teaching and one girl had asked if she could make a card for her foster mum because she would be making a card for her real mum with her foster mum’s help. That’s a child who is being very well mothered outside her family.

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