Can I be honest? If the answer is no, you had probably best close this blog now. Do you ever have those times when you are just you know, not up to it.? When any kind of faith-filled living seems like too much hard work and you are missing it all the time? I’m asking for a friend obvs. Ha! I know when my spirit is dropping because the smallest irritant becomes something way beyond its reality. On Saturday, after having explained to Aged Parent the workings of her new heaters possibly ten times (the last couple of times over the phone after we had returned home and she had called still unsure) I had to sit quietly in a back room and take a moment. You have to understand that I have few redeeming features but patience with Aged Parent is one of them (no matter what she tells you) so when I find myself losing it ever so slightly, I know that it isn’t all that well with my soul.
So I am formulating a plan. If I were a different sort of person (i.e. filthy rich) it might involve a trip to a spa to eat smelly veg and chase my inner ching/chang but I am both poor and not that gullible so I am looking at these instead.
Chase down if there is anything particular I am troubled by and if there is anything practical I can do about it.
If I was on Mastermind, my subject would never be The Flamin’ Obvious. Sometimes circumstances are bubbling about you and everyone else can see how these things are affecting you. My plan is to slowly and surely put my foot on the ball and see if there is anything going on that I can actually change. We all have loads of stuff that goes on – sometimes we can’t change things – sometimes we can.
Longitude or Latitude
…my attitude is gratitude. Because I am quite shallow spiritually, I really struggle with the gratitude type that says “Thank you for the plague of locusts in my underwear drawer Lord – I shall treat it as a gift to slow me down.” That is a very advanced kind of spirituality and I am several divisions below it. However, I can call to mind good things, things I know I have – family, home, kindnesses around me, being alive and make sure that I am grateful for them.
Dig for Victory
By that I mean dig around in favourite books, music, scriptures. These will be truths that I have discovered when I have have been a bit more sparkly spirituality wise. They were truths about God and my place in him then and they are the same kind of truths now. Just because I am a miserable crow at the moment doesn’t change their essential reality. I need to remind myself about what is real really.
One of my favourite passages in the Bible is of an exhausted Moses, knowing that to break through, he has to pray and keep praying. And he just can’t. It’s no good to tell him to try harder he honestly doesn’t have it in him. So those who love him help him. They hold him up. They take the weight. We lean on those who love us – we are not meant to do it ourselves.
A good night’s sleep. A nice pair of socks. Morecambe and Wise. A Jack Russell. Whatever helps you to stop. Allow yourself to laugh. To laugh in difficult times is a form of faith I believe. It’s you saying you trust God to be God. Letting yourself rest is the same thing.
Have a good week