Hello all. Very little to report this week. It was my birthday which was very nice. Nice to be thought of and everything. I got some lovely presents and cards and a visit for tea from Aged Parent. I am of an age when birthdays are not quite the thrill ride they used to be. A friend messaged on Facebook and asked what I was doing on my birthday. I was hoping for a night in with a Chinese takeaway, a glass of wine and possibly a little nap. It’s enough really isn’t it? Especially when Aged Parent had been for tea the night before.
She had endeared herself to the young people, who are back in situ for a while, by continually mixing up my year of birth with my actual age thus congratulating me several times on my 61st birthday. She then regaled the room with tales of her friend downstairs who has found a boyfriend through the pages of “Chat” magazine. Well I say “boyfriend”; it’s a bit of a loose description really. They have talked on the phone a couple of times and he had come to see her last weekend. Aged Parent doesn’t really approve of finding boyfriends through the pages of a magazine and she may have had a point. Her friend downstairs came and sat with Aged Parent during the visit because her new friend had to go into town to buy his return ticket from the bus station. It was a couple of hours before AP discovered that her friend downstairs had given her flat keys to the visitor to let himself in when he got back. Aged Parent felt like this was taking trust too far, even for a Christian woman burdened as she is with uncontrollable sexual urges, and raced to her friend’s flat to see what was going on. Sure enough, the “Boyfriend” had come back from town and let himself into the flat. He said he was just watching the ping-pong but AP, naturally suspicious when it comes to men, was having none of it and instructed her friend to throw him out and check her envelopes under the bed – which is where all old people keep their policies.
Friend downstairs didn’t seem too fussed about that and Aged Parent returned to her flat with grave warnings and saying that no-one better come running to her when people are found dead in their beds. Nobody was. Aged Parent seemed a bit disappointed.
Anyway after that story and a bit a casual racism directed a her dentist who she is sure is a Muslim and clearing her plate even though she wasn’t really hungry she took her leave with this uplifting gem.
AP How much is it costing you – feeding these two now they are back. I can help you know.
Me Oh it’s fine. We are fine – we won’t starve. Anyway, with my belly I could do with a bit of starving haha!!
AP You don’t have a big belly! Well no bigger than a woman your age should expect anyway.
Happy Birthday to me.