….in a smiley loving way.
Something to further increase my humility and to convince me that my pomposity (probably NOT a word) makes God snigger.
I am always a bit suspicious of people who see God everywhere. Not the people who see him in Nature etc but those who say things like “God has used that pork sausage to bless me” You know the kind of thing. I am a bit old fashioned – in many ways. Indeed you should see my wardrobe. I feel comfy if a revelation from God is from scripture, backed up with preaching or a prophetic word and if possible followed by a cosmic sign – rainbow, finger pointing from heaven, audible voice that makes people fall to the ground in fear – that kind of thing.
So when someone told me this week that something a nurse had said to them this week, just in passing, had been a word from God, I was a bit sceptical. I didn’t point and laugh in their face or anything. Just a bit underwhelmed. Later on, while walking the pooch, I remembered something.
A few years ago, I had a job I hated.I felt bullied by the boss. My self confidence was at rock bottom. Every day as I went to work, I felt my stomach tighten. I felt under so much pressure. However, we had bills to pay and a family to support and HOH was hanging in there in his job too, so I kept going. (While looking for something else) I remember one day being almost in total despair and saying to God. “You cannot care for me the way you say you do. I feel totally alone and abandoned. Have I failed you in some way that has made you leave?” and lots of other self pitying stuff. In my defence though. I really did feel that I had been abandoned and had “lost” the love of God in some way. The place I worked had a radio and they played a song by Plain White Ts. It had the line…
“Oh what you do to me…. what you do to me.”
I think you had to be there to understand but I knew, it was God. No really. I knew. God could not get to me any other way so he used a cutesy little pop song to tell me how he felt about me. I went outside into the car park and cried like a baby. Not long after that I found something else.
I may smile uncertainly at people who count the number of times their dog barks in the night as a sign that they are to lead the singing in the worship but I think once again, I am aware that I don’t know it all.