Confidence

Apparently, this is the last month that we are to be graced with the presence of the big wheel on the Hoe. Depending on which of our esteemed news outlets you believe, the company that owns it has either gone bankrupt or fled the country or both. I shall miss it if it goes. I have never actually been on it – do you think I’m crazy? I just like it as part of the landscape. I think it looks great. That is part of it’s problem I suppose, if everyone else is like me and just admires it from afar, then its downfall  is inevitable.

I am not what you would call a natural limelight seeker. A part of me has always longed to enter a room like Streisand in Funny Girl. Arms out wide “Get ready for me world ,cos I’m a comin'” but it is never going to happen. And, whenever I see someone do that, another part of me is also slightly horrified. It would, I feel make life much easier sometimes. I wonder if some people are just born confident. This week we went to see our daughter pick up her GCSE certificates at a ceremony at her school. Each pupil had to wait in the stage wings until their name was called. Then they would walk across the stage with a camera trained on them. Some kids strode onto the stage just a nano away from singing – “Another Opening – Another show!” Some were so shy that they managed to get on and off without actually speaking to or making eye contact with the nice man who came 14th in “The Voice” who gave the prizes out.

Can I digress here? Can you stop me? No. So, call me old fashioned but if the idea was to inspire the young people to work hard, continue their education, formulate a career plan and generally get their lives onto a mature footing, then why choose  someone who quote – “Just went for it, man. I emptied my bank account, bought an old car and just hit the road y’know?” And, while we are at it, I think maybe his choice of song for us, “Ohhhh, this SEX IS ON FIRE”,  may have been a little ill advised, that’s if the Chair of Governors’ face was anything to go by.
It is hard, for me anyway, to get involved, to grab hold of confidence, and to just do it. But if I don’t join in, get involved and generally contribute to the society, church, community I live in, then that community may suffer because, the fields are, as has been said by a very wise Son of God, white and ready for harvest. It becomes more and more obvious to me that if I don’t pull my weight and jump in, then things will not be happening that should be happening. My lack of confidence remains one of my biggest challenges.

HOH was in the basement and came across some old books of mine. In 2003 I had a book published. “What Do You Want Woman?” It was a short, evangelistic book, written in my style. I was fortunate enough to sell about 2000 copies, partly because some churches gave them out at women’s meetings and some used them in Ladies Groups as light-hearted look at Christianity. I am banging a few copies on Ebay for 99p and 70p for postage. This is because I think P and P and the listing fee will be about £1.70 ish.  They are a bit dated so I wouldn’t charge full price. If you are interested in a copy, this is the link. If you are interested and you live somewhere that is no longer a part of the colonies, then please get in touch and I will work out postage. Don’t feel pressured or anything. Just would appreciate any opinions. Carry on, as you were then.

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2 Comments

  1. December 11, 2012 / 8:05 am

    Would love to read this [cos I enjoy your blog style] Can you email me please?

  2. December 15, 2012 / 7:12 pm

    mislaid your email – just to say thanks for parcel!

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