Unless you have been living down a hole on the planet Zog, you will be aware that the exam results season has just drawn to a close. Male Fruit of Womb sorted his own results out this year – something about his entire future depending on it being done properly. To be quite honest, I could be quite insulted by this. No gratitude today’s young people. OK so when I picked his GCSEs up – I did get a bit lost in the school – I’ll give you that. And, embarrassingly, when I asked the way to the room where the results were I was actually standing in the doorway of the room in question. BUT, it was really badly signposted. And, I did get the results back safe and sound – eventually. Anyway, as I said he got his own results this year. (Hope you are keeping up – you will need to concentrate) However, Fruit of Womb Two also had some results to collect this year. I will digress here actually if that’s OK with you (There’s not lot you can do about it to be honest) I do need to say that in my day, there were CSEs, GCSEs and A levels. You took the first two then, two years later, if you so desired, you took A levels. Now people seem to be taking exams every twenty minutes or so. It’s very difficult for your average parent to keep up.
So, with our offspring away, it fell to me to collect the Girl’s exam results. The difference this time was that she would rather that I didn’t. Because she had already taken a sort of double dog dare mock exam thingy in science as part of the multi layered exam life that teenagers live in. What you have to know about our Girl is that science doesn’t exactly float her boat. She loves English and Media and Literature. She looks forward to the day when all her study life revolves around these subjects. You probably also need to know that in her Chemistry mock she was the not very proud possessor of a “U”.
It was a shock – the U. She wasn’t used to it. At this point she had a choice. She knew that she was never going to win the Nobel Prize for Chemistry but did she want to be looking at the U letter when she opened the real exam results? So, she decided to do something about it. She gave up lunch hours to go to extra lessons. She went online to find out the answer to questions she didn’t understand and she revised for England. At this point – I would love to tell you that she developed a deep passionate love for Chemistry and is, at this very moment, working with top people to develop a self tan product that doesn’t need all the streaky bits rubbing off with a loofah. But that would be a lie. She went into the exam as well prepared as she could be and came out of it feeling a bit better than she did the last time but questions about how well she thought she had done were answered with an non committal “Haven’t the foggiest”
As results day approached there were lots of conversations like this
Moi If you are away, please leave a letter for me to pick up your results.
Her No need. I don’t need to know.
Moi Yes you do. It’s your future. It’s important
Her Not if Daniel Radcliffe comes and whisks me away.
Moi Unlikely. Do the letter.
Her (Warming to her subject) Or I get a place at RADA
Moi Even more unlikely, you haven’t applied. I’ve done the letter. Sign it if you want to live.
The day went without a hitch. (Well I did arrive two hours early and I did get lost in the school – a bit) And I opened the letter and sitting there was a luscious A* in Chemistry.
You probably know this but maybe you need to hear it. It really isn’t the failure. It’s what you do with it. Do you resolve never to have another go in case you faff it up or do you grab your underpants with both hands, pull them up and give sorting it everything you have? Christians serve the God of the Second Chance. There is always a way back. Sometimes you have to work your way through stuff to get it right. But, the feeling you get when you open the envelope with the right result after it had all gone wrong is the best feeling in the world.