Apologies for the poor photo of the mantelpiece in the back room. Hargreaves Towers’ Official Photographer is busy in the kitchen putting the shopping away while listening to obscure Northern Soul with his earphones. The rest of the family will not interrupt as they are deriving too much pleasure sniggering while he sings, unaware of loud he is.
Anyway, wanted to talk about time a bit as you may have noticed. I recently received the welcome news that I had won a writing competition. Excellent. Really chuffed. But then it came. As I knew it must. The email asking for the photo to accompany the piece. “Head and shoulders. Facing the camera please.” Everyone in the house tenses up. Your mission – should you chose to accept it is – To obtain a semi decent photo of Mum. It’s a tough job. Smiling or not smiling? Wry or serious? Then the rejections. Out – I look bald. Out – I look like Yoko Ono. Out – I look mad. Out – I look like a bald, mad , Yoko Ono.
Then I apologise. “I’ve never taken a good photo” I say. Head of House replies kindly. “It’s not true. We are just getting old.”
After wondering uncharitably, “Is he saying I look old?” I have to agree. I think most of us think they will have found the cure for age by the time we get old – but they never do. But there is so much to do still and where will I find the time? Well, I could start with the time snatchers. We all probably have these. Things we do that just slowly, almost un-noticed, snatch the time away. I’ll tell you a few of mine . Please take care to notice how spiritual they all are
1. ENews! If I watch it, it takes an hour and I’ve hardly ever heard of anyone on it. Do I really need to know where the third vampire from the left in Twilight buys her frocks? Yet still I sit in front of it like its packed to the draw strings with A-Listers. I need to stop. (This does not include Fashion Police with Joan Rivers which is essential viewing)
2. Facebook games. Facebook is fine. I go on for a while then go away. It’s the games that suck
you me in. How long trying to get a fish to spit bubbles up a tube? I’m a grown woman for goodness sake.
3.Houseporn This is pure nosiness and dead easy with the advent of the Internet. I can spend many an hour grubbing around other people’s cupboards.
4. Moneysavingexpert.com A bit different as this can be quite useful but I can disappear into the forum for days on end. Still, did get a very good recipe for fish pie and I can make my shower gel last a lot longer.
5. Head of House wants me to add “The Mentalist” to this list but I like it. We can’t all be watching moody French police serials with policewomen who look like they need a good wash. (Spiral – I’m talking about you.)
You probably have lots of your own time wasters. For me, I know I need to deal with it. I truly don’t want to be a woman with an untrimmed, un-oily, oil lamp when time runs out just because I spent so much time wasting the precious time God gives us. All advice gratefully received.